A letter left at the bench...

'Ultra' runner had rare track record

Article reprinted from the Journal Sentinel: by Amy Rabideau Silvers, May 11, 2008

Lots of people make New Year's resolutions, but few end up as successful as Ralph Graf.

"We were at a New Year's Eve party something like 25 years ago, and we were drinking and smoking," said Ann Graf, his wife. "He made a bet in front of everybody that he was going to start running and stop smoking."

That's just what he did.

He started out with a mile or so on some days. Later he began tackling marathons and then ultramarathons.

"I'm going to stay healthy for you, hon," Graf had long told his wife.

For the record, Graf never promised to give up the occasional drink.

"I have to finish this marathon," he liked to say. "I have a beer waiting for me."

Graf died Monday. He was 58. Last October, he was diagnosed with kidney cancer, and it continued to spread through his system.

"That's why it was so hard when we found out about his cancer," Ann said. "His body was so healthy. We really thought he was going to beat his cancer."

A previously planned benefit will still be held next Saturday, beginning at 3 p.m., at Lion's Park in Okauchee. Three bands have volunteered to play, and friends have helped organize food stands and a silent auction, including Bruce Springsteen and Packers tickets.

Proceeds will help with medical bills and benefit the Kidney Cancer Association.

"Our daughters started this," Ann said, adding that it is not a running event. "They decided that this was something they wanted to do for their dad. He didn't know about it until about a month ago when he went to the gas station."

A clerk there had a poster and asked if he was the Ralph it was about.

"Oh, I guess it is me," Graf told her.

His family hoped that he would be able to attend.

"It just didn't happen," his wife said.

Graf grew up in Milwaukee, graduating from the old Don Bosco High School. He joined the U.S. Air Force after graduation, serving as an airplane mechanic during the Vietnam War.

He returned to work assorted jobs and later met the former Ann Stanislawski.

"We met at his younger brother Don's wedding," she said.

They had their own wedding a year later.

Graf worked mainly as a truck driver and delivery man, last for Atlas Metal Parts Co. in Waukesha.

He was a member of the Badgerland Striders, which puts on the Lakefront Marathon in Milwaukee.

"This October would have been his 20th straight Milwaukee marathon," Ann said. "In June he went to California to run in the Western States run - it's 100 miles - and no one knew he had the cancer in him."

He was, friends said, a talented runner.

"It was really his grit and determination that made him a great ultra runner," said friend Jeff Mallach. "He beat me in a number of races and I'm 10 years younger. Last year, he ran his tenth Ice Age Trail 50 - 50 miles - and it's a very short list of people who have completed 10 events."

"Ralph had the ability to get through adversity and put his head down and get through the finish line," said Kris Hinrichs, race director of the Lakefront Marathon.

Survivors include his wife, Ann; daughters Elizabeth Dejanovich and Patricia Mehalos; mother LaVerne; sisters Mary Jakabowski and Barb Zblewski; brothers Bill and Don; and grandchildren.

A private family service is planned.

Memorials are suggested to the Kidney Cancer Association, or to the Ralph Graf Cancer Fund, c/o Landmark Credit Union, P.O. Box 178, Waukesha, WI 53187-0178.